Gas price war!

This set of gasoline prices on opposite sides of Route 9 in Columbia County, NY, is causing a lot of brake-stomping, neck-swiveling and jaw-dropping.

All for naught, however.

The lower prices are posted on the marquee of a gas station that has been closed for months.

Actually, the prices shown on the blowup at right of the Sunoco station reflect what amounts to a bargain in that part of the country these days.

Sorry about that.

It’s a matter of ones and ooohs

OMG!

The first chip to pack more than 2 billion transistors has been launched by silicon giant Intel. Just to prove it, that’s a picture of it over there on the right.

According to the technology press, in this case a breathless BBC writer:

“The quad-core chip, known as Tukwila, is designed for high-end servers rather than personal computers. It operates at speeds of up to 2Ghz, the equivalent of a standard PC chip. It marks the latest milestone in chip technology; Intel released the first processor to contain more than one billion transistors in 2006.” 

I have no idea what that means, except that maybe early in 2010 Intel will announce a 3 billion zoomawatz chip.

Well, maybe I have a little bit of an idea what it means: more proof of the legitimacy of Moore’s Law.

Intel co-founder Gordon Moore said way back in ‘65 that the number of transistors it is possible to squeeze in to a chip for a fixed cost doubles every two years.

But there’s another scientific finding just announced that requires little explanation: that high heels may improve one’s sex life. Just to prove it, that’s a picture of high heels over there.

Now, that is a finding I can deal with.

in a letter to the publication European Urology, Dr. Maria Cerruto of Italy said her study of 66 women under age 50 found that those who held their foot at a 15-degree angle to the ground — the equivalent of a 2-inch heel — had as good posture as those who wore flat shoes, and crucially showed less electrical activity in their pelvic muscles.

As an appreciator of electrifying female pelvic muscles, this study seemed of very high importance.

Her study suggests the muscles were at an optimum position, which could well improve their strength and ability to contract. Thus, wearing higher heels, even if they aren’t stilettos, may improve a woman’s pelvic floor muscles and, therefore, her sex life.

His, too, one would assume. 

The day of the survivors

One of the two groups pictured here can be considered, on this day after Thanksgiving, the survivors. Which one depends on one’s point of view. My money is on the turkeys.

While humans in our shopaholic nation refer to the day after Thanksgiving as Black Friday, in the turkey universe it’s Glorious Friday.

Yesterday was Black Thursday for thousands of them, so the ones still strutting around today and gorging themselves on food we’ve put out for much smaller examples of birddom are feeling pretty good to have survived for at least one more year.

The reason I do not see today’s bargain-intoxicated shoppers — some of whom were up since the wee hours waiting on line for those 4 and 5 a.m. door-opening bargains they probably didn’t need — as survivors is that many of them also will be out at the malls and big box stores on Black Saturday and Black Sunday repeating today’s consumer madness, even in the face of dire weather predictions for the weekend.

The turkeys, meanwhile, will be relaxing and eating berries and pumpkins seeds in relative comfort.

Turkeys are not birdbrains.

MAKING SHORT WORK OF A LONGSTANDING PROBLEM

I am a terrible gift giver.

Well, maybe that should be I am a terrible gift thinker-upper. I can give people things; I’m just terrible at thinking what those things may be. Holidays and birthdays are the worst because I’m under pressure of a specific date. I usually simply freeze, then end up throwing dollars at the problem and over-gift everyone.

But I have found the perfect gift for The Woman To Whom I Am Related By Marriage. She is 5-foot-2 and has a devil of a time finding clothes in petite sizes. And she has plenty of friends, relatives and acquaintances with the same problem. I can authenticate that. I have heard it enough lo these many years of marriage. Believe me, I know it’s true. Honest. No doubt about it. I’ve heard it, again … and again … and again … !

(BREATH, 2, 3 4 … BREATH)

The gift is my discovery of Petite Fashionista, a blog dedicated to helping women 5-4 and under find clothes. Underthings, overthings, wraparound things, all sorts of things.

It contains all the things women like — lots of shades of pink, lots of sales and discount deals, and clothes, clothes and more clothes. And shoes, of course. And chat. And questions and answers. And more shoes. Lots more shoes.

I have someone named Christa Jane to thank. She created the blog, says she’s 24, stands 5-4, and works as a private stylist in the U.S. and Canada and plans her own line of petite clothing.

God bless her little heart.

THE BIRDS

The bird calls were beautiful. Two competing yet harmonious sounds.

The odd thing is, it was in a grocery store.

There they were, perched high up in the girders enjoying a bird’s-eye view of the shopping aisles and any stray goodies that might be dropped at the sushi bar, in the produce section, or anywhere else on the premises.

This sighting came just several days after I’d experienced the same thing in a BJ’s wholesale discount store, and we’ve seen wild birds hanging around other places like Home Depot. Maybe I’m just beginning to notice the phenomenon, or maybe word is getting around the bird kingdom that taking up residence in such warehouse-style structures beats migrating in search of food and shelter.

You must have noticed the same thing. Any commercial buildings with high roofs and exposed support beams have become home to birds who wander onto the premises then become part of the scene. They twitter, sing and — regretably — defecate with glorious abandon on shoppers below.

At first we enjoy the sight and sound. Then we begin to wonder what it’s like after hours, when the crowds are gone and the lights are turned down low.

Do they fly down to stalk the aisles, do they turn on the sound system and party till dawn? If we wandered in before they had a chance to fly back to their high perches, would we experience what Melanie Griffith’s mom, Tippi Hedrin, did when she was pecked aplenty in Alfred Hitchcock’s thriller “The Birds”?

Let’s hope we never have to find out. Just as I hope the people who are now in the process of remaking that Hitchcock classic come to their senses. Some birds are best left alone.