Are you as confused as I am about what happened last night on ‘Battlestar Galactica’?
It was the mid-season finale, an episode that looked as if some parts had been sloppily cut out, causing some odd transitions, and it included an ending that was as dissatisfying as the finale of “The Sopranos.”
I exchanged befuddled glances with The Woman To Whom I Am Related By Marriage, then immediately began speaking badly about one of our favorite shows. It will resume its final season sometime after the Christmas holiday season, but will we still care?
Well, of course we will, but not nearly as much as we might have if BSG’s creators hadn’t diddled with our loyalties and enthusiasm. Sometimes TV show bosses can’t help but get so “creative” about wrapping up a project that their egos overtake their common sense.
By the way, the photo above — which I have named “Biker Chic(ks)” — is of two BSG characters you may never have seen out of costume. Tricia Helfer (left), who plays Cylon No. 6, and Katee Sackhoff, who plays fighter pilot Starbuck, both enjoy riding motorcycles in their spare time. Really. (Go here to see Ms. Helfer all dressed up in character.)
Anyway, to catch up on the action, or lack thereof, just click here to go to the Gawker site where Ian Spiegelman provides his usual hilarious weekly summary of the show.
One of my (many) guilty pleasures is the Sci-Fi Channel’s “Battlestar Galactica.” Unfortunately, this dark, moody drama ends after this, its fourth, season, no doubt to pop up again in feature film format a la the “Star Trek” franchise. (BSG already has spawned one straight-to-cable flick.)
One of my other guilty pleasures is reading Ian Spiegelman’s weekly updates on the series for the delightfully snarky Gawker.com Web site. This week he focusses largely on the Starbuck character, that lovable flygirl-temporarily-turned-ship-captain.
Craig Ferguson is the best standup comic among late night TV talk show hosts, bar none.
His delivery, ad libs, funny faces and the like make audiences think everything he is about to utter is going to be hilarious.
Usually that’s the case. But he does draw the line at making too much fun of celebrities who are undergoing ridiculous situations. In case you didn’t have the opportunity to watch his declaration during one of his monologues, here it is. If this isn’t a reason to respect the guy, I don’t know what would be.
“This isn’t the country I grew up in. No one speaks a word of English these days.”
No, this isn’t a reprise of Brit pop singer Morrissey’s screed against changes in the ethnic makeup of the United Kingdom reported last month. This time it’s the iconic singer Dame Shirley Bassey of “Goldfinger” theme song fame.
Bassey, shown here clad in a brilliant red gown, was interviewed for a fee by the UK paper The Daily Mail on the occasion of her 70th birthday attended by Joan Collins (standing next to her) and others. Dame Shirley lives most of the time these days in Monaco.
Why?
“This isn’t England any more, at least it is not the country I remember growing up in,” she told the newspaper. “You don’t hear English spoken here. You read about terrible things, not just drugs but all the killings.
“When you live in a safe place like Monte Carlo, you can walk home at any time of the night and you don’t have to worry. I don’t feel at risk there. If I drive myself, I can leave the car doors unlocked. I wouldn’t do that in London.”
Bassey, by the way, requested that the fee for being interviewed be donated to the War Widows’ Association.
Since GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney delivered his speech in Texas on values and religion the other day, talking heads and pundits on both sides of the political aisle have been having a field day. To wit:
“He didn’t include everyone — not a word about atheists or agnostics.”
“He only said ‘Mormon’ one time.”
“He was right on, but we’re different than we were in JFK’s day when he had to make a speech on his Catholicism.”
They didn’t mention he also failed to mention Wiccans, Zoroastrians, WWF followers and other groups.
For my money, the best public oration on religion in general was made a few years back by English actor/comic Eddie Izzard who, turned out in his best “executive transvestite” clothes and makeup, took America by storm in a concert performance called “Dressed to Kill.”
Here are a couple of scenes from that very event that may make you look at religion in a different light:
I was discussing with The-Woman-To-Whom-I-Am-Related-By-Marriage the matter of Christmas presents.
“What do you want for Christmas?” she asked, all wide-eyed and innocent.
“Why do you ask that?” I responded. “I know you’ve already gotten me several things. We promised not to go overboard again this year.”
“I know,” she said. “It’s just that you never seem to want anything in particular and I’d like you to get something unexpected.”
“Unexpected? You mean like the Spanish Inquisition?” I said, referring to one of my favorite Monty Python sketches.
“No,” she said, picking up on the inside joke, “nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.”
Which leads me to share with you — and especially those of you who are not familiar with this classic bit of buffoonery — a selection of the famous performances. That’s Michael Palin as the lead inquisitor, the one with the math problem:
Of course, if you want to take the Inquisition more seriously, you can try this version:
The Brit pop singer Morrissey is suing the magazine New Musical Express (NME) for purportedly mischaracterizing his comments about immigration.
Morrissey, 48, who has lived abroad for a decade, was asked about his views on British immigration. He allegedly told an NME reporter:
“Although I don’t have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears. So the price is enormous. If you travel to Germany, it’s still absolutely Germany. If you travel to Sweden, it still has a Swedish identity. But travel to England and you have no idea where you are.”
Morrissey’s lawyers claim the comments were misconstrued to mean he wouldn’t return to England to live because of high immigration.
Hmmm. Interesting stance, that his comments would have caused any confusion as to meaning.
By the way, here are some lyrics from some of Morrissey’s songs:
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
“England for the English!
“England for the English! (“The National Front Disco”)
“Brakes slammed, and
“His gun jammed, and
“As far as I could tell
“Brave Asian boy
“Was dealt a blow and fell
“I’m just passing through here
“On my way to somewhere civilised
“And maybe I’ll even arrive” (“Asian Rut”)
How could anyone be confused by what he says? If there are further questions, here’s a sample from a little Morrissey ditty called “Life Is a Pigsty.” Note the clarity of meaning.
“Life is a pigsty
“Life is a pigsty
“Life is a pigsty
“Life is a pigsty
“Life, life is a pigsty
“Life, life is a pigsty
“Life, life is a pigsty
“Life is a pigsty
This is Sunshine Week. It’s the annual period in which the American news media, primarily newspapers, ratchets up the pressure on public officials and entities to become more forthcoming about what they’re doing and what they’ve done.
One of the best tools for getting at the oft-hidden truth is the Freedom of Information Law, or FOIL. It’s used at the local, state and national levels, primarily by good-government groups and journalists, although it’s available to any member of the public who follows the proper procedures.
However, we’re not the only country that has a FOIL that uncovers politicians’ foibles. The Times of London, for example, has just released what it titles “59 Things That Would Have Stayed Secret” if the newspaper hadn’t utilizied England’s Freedom of Information Act to unearth the items. Among them:
• The Thatcher administration concocted a plan to search for the Loch Ness monster using a team of dolphins.
• Weapons used by paratroopers on Bloody Sunday have ended up in the hands of the army in Sierra Leone, paramilitary police in Beirut and even in an Arkansas gun shop.
• Tony Blair spent nearly $3,800 of taxpayers’ money on cosmetics over six years.
• 74 police officers serving with the London Metropolitan Police have criminal records.
• A clandestine British torture programme existed in post-WWII Germany, “reminiscent of the concentration camps.”
• The National Health Service has been giving girls as young as 13 contraceptive injections and implants that make them infertile for up to three years, in an attempt to cut teenage pregnancies
• DNA tests showed that, since 1998, 3,034 men had been wrongly named by mothers as fathers of children for whom they had claimed maintenance. The taxpayer had to repay these sums.
• More than 700 nurses and doctors were disciplined for drink or drugs at work in the past 10 years.
• Plans to turn Britain into a “world leader” in internet gambling were drawn up by ministers.
As you can see, silliness and incompetence know no borders.
I am, I readily admit, an unabashed fan of film noir. Anything early Humphrey Bogart, for example, entrances me. Imagine, then, how interested I am in the theft of the Maltese Falcon.
No, not the 1941 film classic. And, of course, not the statue of the bird in question which was smashed to smithereens late in the movie.
The bird in question is a plaster replica of the movie bird that has sat in a second-floor display case at John’s Grill in San Francisco since it was given to owner John Konstin in the mid-’90s by Elisha Cook Jr., a supporting actor in the film.
Just as in the film, the disappearance is a mystery. Konstin says if the bird shows up unharmed on his doorstep, no questions will be asked.
Those of us noir fans would prefer he track the bum down, smack him around with a sap, maybe threaten him with a gat, then skull him with the bird. Just a suggestion.
The Alabama-born singer whose rough-edged, powerful voice made him a 1960s icon with “In the Midnight Hour” and “Mustang Sally,” songs that helped pave his way to membership in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, died Thursday of a heart attack.
Despite battling health problems for years, Pickett continued performing to the end. The man who gave us a string of R&B, soul, rock and pop hits — things like “Land of 1000 Dances,” “Funky Broadway,” “634-5789″ — was so internationally revered that his music was central to the plot of the 1991 film “The Commitments” and its hit soundtrack. The film dealt with a group of working-class Irish kids who wanted to form a singing group and perform with their hero, Pickett.
Are you as confused as I am about what happened last night on ‘Battlestar Galactica’?
