Don’t you just hate show hosts who tell you to …

a) “Put your hands together for … ”

(That doesn’t make any noise after the first hit, by the way)

b) “Make some noise for … ”

(I might cheer or applaud if the performance is worthy, but just sitting there like an ass, making noise? No way)

c) “C’mon,” as in sing their songs

(I paid good money for the ticket or for the cable service. You entertain me, Host Boy)

The end of (my patience with) ‘Battlestar Galactica’

Are you as confused as I am about what happened last night on ‘Battlestar Galactica’?

It was the mid-season finale, an episode that looked as if some parts had been sloppily cut out, causing some odd transitions, and it included an ending that was as dissatisfying as the finale of “The Sopranos.”

I exchanged befuddled glances with The Woman To Whom I Am Related By Marriage, then immediately began speaking badly about one of our favorite shows. It will resume its final season sometime after the Christmas holiday season, but will we still care?

Well, of course we will, but not nearly as much as we might have if BSG’s creators hadn’t diddled with our loyalties and enthusiasm. Sometimes TV show bosses can’t help but get so “creative” about wrapping up a project that their egos overtake their common sense.

By the way, the photo above — which I have named “Biker Chic(ks)” — is of two BSG characters you may never have seen out of costume. Tricia Helfer (left), who plays Cylon No. 6, and Katee Sackhoff, who plays fighter pilot Starbuck, both enjoy riding motorcycles in their spare time. Really. (Go here to see Ms. Helfer all dressed up in character.)

Anyway, to catch up on the action, or lack thereof, just click here to go to the Gawker site where Ian Spiegelman provides his usual hilarious weekly summary of the show.

Starbuck s in space

One of my (many) guilty pleasures is the Sci-Fi Channel’s “Battlestar Galactica.” Unfortunately, this dark, moody drama ends after this, its fourth, season, no doubt to pop up again in feature film format a la the “Star Trek” franchise. (BSG already has spawned one straight-to-cable flick.)

One of my other guilty pleasures is reading Ian Spiegelman’s weekly updates on the series for the delightfully snarky Gawker.com Web site. This week he focusses largely on the Starbuck character, that lovable flygirl-temporarily-turned-ship-captain.

I guess he’ll have to say it in a song

The Brit pop singer Morrissey is suing the magazine New Musical Express (NME) for purportedly mischaracterizing his comments about immigration.

Morrissey, 48, who has lived abroad for a decade, was asked about his views on British immigration. He allegedly told an NME reporter:

“Although I don’t have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears. So the price is enormous. If you travel to Germany, it’s still absolutely Germany. If you travel to Sweden, it still has a Swedish identity. But travel to England and you have no idea where you are.”

Morrissey’s lawyers claim the comments were misconstrued to mean he wouldn’t return to England to live because of high immigration.

Hmmm. Interesting stance, that his comments would have caused any confusion as to meaning.

By the way, here are some lyrics from some of Morrissey’s songs:

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
“England for the English!
“England for the English!
(“The National Front Disco”)

“Brakes slammed, and
“His gun jammed, and
“As far as I could tell
“Brave Asian boy
“Was dealt a blow and fell

“I’m just passing through here
“On my way to somewhere civilised
“And maybe I’ll even arrive”
(“Asian Rut”)

How could anyone be confused by what he says? If there are further questions, here’s a sample from a little Morrissey ditty called “Life Is a Pigsty.” Note the clarity of meaning.

“Life is a pigsty
“Life is a pigsty
“Life is a pigsty
“Life is a pigsty
“Life, life is a pigsty
“Life, life is a pigsty
“Life, life is a pigsty
“Life is a pigsty

AND THE MELODIES LINGER ON

If you’re a fan of British TV sit-coms, you’re familiar with the work of Ronnie Hazlehurst.

Unlike many American sit-coms that rely on raucous music and lyrics for their themes, the Brits tend to prefer a more restrained, streamlined style, and Hazlehurst (right) was its master.

The man who composed the theme songs to, among others, “Are You Being Served?,” “Last of the Summer Wine,” “Yes, Minister,” “Yes, Prime Minister,” “To the Manor Born,” “Two Ronnies” and “The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin” died Monday night at the age of 79 from the affects of a stroke.

Hazlehurst also was a noted conductor and music arranger. Among his projects was the film “The English Patient.”

Alan Bell, the producer of “Last of the Summer Wine,” told the BBC: “His music captured the mood immediately. If a character was walking, all the footsteps would be in time with the music and, if there was a little hand gesture, there would be a little figure that would accompany that. He was very precise with it. The musicians said they didn’t know how he did it – it was so painstaking. Musically, he was the king.”

Hazlehurst began his career as a jazz trumpeter and became the musical director of the BBC. He wasn’t above a few antics, either. In the 1977 Eurovision Song Contest, a huge competition each year in Europe, he conducted his country’s entry with a rolled-up umbrella rather than a baton. In 1999, he received a gold award from the British Academy of Composers and Songwriters.

Luckily, given the remarkable staying power of Britcoms on American TV, we’ll continue to have Ronnie’s work with us for years to come.

If you’d like to hear a few bits from some of the TV shows that illustrate his range, try these links:

• Last of the Summer Wine
• To the Manor Born
• The Two Ronnies
• Yes, Prime Minister
• The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin