Read all about it! (for a price)

LEDYARD, CT — As she flipped through the “complimentary” copy of The Providence Journal left at the door of our guest room at the Foxwoods Resort & Casino, my wife shared with me what she considered the hottest story in the newspaper.

“Look at that sticker,” she said, pointing to a square piece of paper attached to the front of the third section. “I thought this paper was supposed to be complimentary for guests.”

The note informed us:

“A copy of the Providence Journal is included with your stay. If you do not wish to receive the newspaper, please contact the front desk for a $.13 refund daily, or a $.50 refund on Sunday.”

Regretably, this is a legitimate gimmick, although a cheesey one. It does nothing to benefit the consumer who is placed in the position of first ascertaining that he or she is being unexpectedly charged for something then having to take action to change the situation or end up footing the bill, small though it is.

Under the industry’s Audit Bureau of Circulations rules, newspapers can sell bulk batches of their product at half-price and still count them as individually full-paid circulation.

What this boils down to, dear traveler, is that this 50-cent newspaper actually went for only a quarter to the Indian casino hotel, and it passed along more than 50% of its discounted price to its guests. Human nature being what it is, they no doubt figured, correctly, that few people would ever ask for their 13 cents back. So, it was a great deal for the newspaper and the resort.

Just a tip for one more thing to keep an eye on during your travels.

Low times in the Highlands

ABERDEENSHIRE, Scotland — Here I am, traveling in the Highlands of Scotland, where life seems to move at a snail’s pace, history is apparent all around you, and the place looks rock solid.

Literally, since nearly every structure is made of granite blocks or stone and their longevity morphs from one century to the next with little apparent difference.

Yet all the newspapers are dwelling heavily on only three topics:

1. How silly British Prime Minister Gordon Brown is being made to look because of a tell-all book from ex-PM Tony Blair’s oputspoken wife, Cherie, who (shock and awe!) doesn’t care for Gordon.

2. How rocky the financial situation is “north of the border,” which means Scotland itself where housing prices are skyrocketing, inflation is rising at a faster rate (3.5%) than anywhere else in the United Kingdom (which includes England, Wales and Northern Ireland), and unemployment is on the rise.

3. How bad the alcohol abuse is getting, a particular problem in a country where more than 40,000 people out of a total population of barely 5 million rely on the whisky industry for jobs — and that is not including people in the retail business of selling the stuff.

Some of the solutions that are being suggested from various corners are as hysterical as the incessant reporting on them, except for the Gordon Brown thing which is great theater for the masses who love seeing the balloons of the high and mighty pricked sharply.

For the alcohol problem, the suggestions range from raising the drinking age beyond 21 to raising prices (even though Scotch whisky costs much more in Scotland than it does abroad, due to the regressive taxing policies) or even making public intoxication a higher crime.

As to the financial situation, the ideas range from strict price controls to more restrictive bank loan policies (they have the same problem with sub-prime mortgages we in the U.S. have), although no one wants to officially put forth a comprehensive plan for fear of commiting political suicide.

Oh, there has been one other item in the news. The idea of Scottish independence.

Of course, that one has been rattling around since the 18th Century, when the anti-English rebellion in support of Bonnie Prince Charlie fizzled out after a hideous defeat at Culloden on April 16, 1746. A battle that lasted less than an hour killed 1,500 Highlanders vs. a mere 50 or so English regulars. It effectively broke the back of the Jacobite movement, leading to the banning of such ethnic staples as the playing of the bagpipes and the wearing of the kilts and tartans.

Now there are calls from Sean Connery from the comfort of his homes abroad and other nationalists still residing in Scotland to push forward with a vote on splitting off from the U.K.

As an outsider, I have perhaps a more measured reaction to the idea than someone who is emotionally invested. I think it’s ridiculous. Given all the hoo-haw of financial woes and a bleak outlook for years to come, the last thing that would be needed is trying to establish a truly independent country.

Evidence? Take Scotland’s currency. The Scottish pound is issued by the government, but it also is issued by two different banks. Money from all three sources can be spent anywhere in Scotland, but only those issued by the government are worth anything outside the borders. If they can’t get their act together on a simplified, unified currency recognized worldwide, imagine the problems of being a soveriegn nation with financial woes trying to be trusted financially in a global economy.

We have your room ready, Mr. Simpson

If anyone thinks celebrity doesn’t earn perks, think again.

O.J. Simpson’s latest run-in with the law led to him being sent to jail in Las Vegas.

Was he treated the same way you would be in such a situation?

Play the video to find out. 

Andorra calling

This just in.

After hosting thousands upon thousands of visitors from all over the globe, my drinks Web site just got its first visitor from Andorra.

That may not mean anything to most people, but for someone like me who has had a lifelong fascination with maps, geography and tiny, out-of-the-way countries (see San Marino, Liechtenstein and Kiribati), a real-time connection with someone in Andorra is like striking gold.

I’ve visited a couple of tiny countries — Luxembourg, located at the confluence of Belgium, France and Germany, and Antigua & Barbuda, an islands-nation in the Caribbean, for example — but they’re easily reached.

The Principality of Andorra is a bit more remote, tucked into a 174-square-mile pocket in the eastern Pyrenees mountains between France and Spain, although 10 million tourists manage to get there each year.  

That must agree with the 72,000 locals since tourism provides 80% of the country’s income and the population has the highest average life expectancy of any nation in the world (80 for men, 86 for women). 

One of the biggest attractions is the large amount of area for skiing. This Sunday, for example, the main race of the Andorran Ski Championship will be held and thousands of fans will flock to the mountains for the event.

But that’s the touristy stuff. When I visit a country I prefer to find something offbeat. In Andorra, that can be the bordas, the old traditional mountain homes. More than two dozen of them have been converted to public restaurants, most of which are known for a signature dish. Thus, a tour of the bordas is a gastronomic treat that comes highly recommended.

I’m making out my dining list right now. If I can just link up to my Web site visitor, I may even be able to get a personal tour.

SATURDAY NIGHT IN MEXICO

PHOTO BY WILLIAM M. DOWD
(Double-click to enlarge image)

WORKERS FROM THE EL TESORO TEQUILA PLANT RELAX BEFORE A WEEKEND FIESTA.

ARANDAS, MEXICO — So there I was, wondering how the hell I had gotten stuck, tired and thirsty at 11 o’clock on a damp Saturday night, in a stuffy bus jammed into a narrow four-way intersection in this hardscrabble little town.

Oncoming traffic was beginning to stack up in this city with a population about that of Troy but with streets the width of Troy’s alleys.

Temperatures rose and tempers flared as the dazed driver tried to extricate the bus from a self-induced wedgie, stuck nose-first into a narrow, vehicle-blocked street and unable to back up because the other roads to the intersection all were dead ends or one-ways pointing in the wrong direction for him. And, because his predicament had backed up traffic on all those roads.

The abuelas from the street-level apartment the bus had nearly rammed were sticking their heads out the door, little gray-haired women who probably hadn’t had such a lively Sabado in a very long time.

A young couple who had been coiled around each other in the shadows right down the street became so intrigued by our predicament they left off their mutual clutchfest to stroll up the street and join with everyone else in shouting good-natured suggestions at the driver.

Finally, it all came down to one way to widen the street. “Let’s pick up that Chevy Blazer and put it on the sidewalk,” someone said, half in jest but with enough enthusiasm to have the idea immediately accepted by the bus passengers and gawkers.

Quickly, a group of a half-dozen young men grasped the bumper of the vehicle and, with mighty grunts and tugs, got the wheels far enough off the pavement to move it to the sidewalk. A cheer went up from all involved, the bus driver came back to life, everyone got back on the bus, and away we went, barely grazing the second-floor balcony that jutted out over the street.

And just ahead of the flashing lights of the local police.

FINGER LAKES CLEANING UP TOURISTS’ ACT

With grape power comes grape responsibility.

An increase in boorish behavior on the part of some Finger Lakes winery tourists has led to the Safe Group Wine Tours Initiative.

It’s a cooperative effort of the Keuka, Cayuga and Seneca wine trails. Taking a page from the rules of soccer, tour groups who exhibit intoxicated and/or disruptive behavior will get yellow-card warnings. Repeat offenders will get red cards that will deny the company or groups admittance to any of the 50 or so participating wineries.

As tourism increases throughout wine country, chauffered vehicles have become more popular so visitors can visit more winery tasting rooms without worrying about driving. Conversely, more groups and individuals have overdone that freedom, leading to instances of verbal abuse of tasting room staff, public urination and other raucous behavior.

According to the wineries, overindulgence comes mainly from drinking on commercial vehicles, not from visiting tasting rooms. State law allows open bottles in livery vehicles.

Some tour groups prohibit consumption of any alcoholic beverages in limos or buses. Some even warn customers in advance that disruptive behavior will result in their immediately being dropped off the tour.

Life is a numbers game

He, calling from San Antonio, TX: “So, what’s the temperature up there?”

She, answering from Upstate New York: “I guess 6 or 7. How about down there?”

He: “Same numbers. Just a little closer together, like 67.”

It’s a big country, room enough for all sorts of people and climates. When you travel a lot, that becomes clearer and clearer.

Little things such as what outerwear to choose when traveling from the Snow Belt to the Sun Belt tells you that you’ll have to be adaptable. The leather jacket with the quilted lining that was perfect when you set out on your trek that morning becomes superfluous material to carry by the time you reach your southwestern destination that afternoon.

Once again, weather is a metaphor for life. Just as we make accommodations along the way for changing climatic conditions, most of us start out on some sort of journey — romance, career, grocery store choices, Christmas shopping — and wind up not precisely where we thought we would. It’s the adaptations we make along the way that create the outcome.